October 6, 2022


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Life … You Gotta Love It: BUGS! UGH!

I believe, moderately than the relentless warmth and the humidity – oh, the humidity! – the factor I hate most about summer season is the bugs. Bugs. Ugh.

I don’t actually thoughts those who keep outdoors the place they belong. It’s the bugs that discover their approach inside that I detest. I’ve bought cans of insecticide close to each chair, and I nonetheless can’t maintain them at bay.

I suppose the worst factor was the morning I unwittingly had a cricket cappuccino.

Sure. My beloved and really mandatory cup of cappuccino had a cricket in it. I didn’t know that till I took a sip and felt one thing fairly odd clinging to my lip. It was a cricket. UGH!

I’ve had a plague of crickets this summer season. It appears, every summer season, there’s a distinct plague than the final. I do keep in mind the summer season of the hornets. Now, they have been scary, however at the very least you could possibly hear them, and stalk them with the hornet spray. And, no hornet ever discovered its approach into my morning espresso.

This yr, there appears to be a plague of plagues: The crickets, which I can’t eliminate, and might discover no spray that works to kill them. And the ants have joined the get together. Now, I don’t do a whole lot of cooking, or go away meals out on the counters, however the ants – these massive, black ones – have discovered me nonetheless. My counters, whereas they could not have meals, have all kinds of little ant baits and clear plastic vials of ant killer scattered round. It doesn’t appear to assist.

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It’s additionally been fairly the summer season for spiders. I virtually placed on my pajamas the opposite night time, when an enormous black spider fell out. Gah!

Simply final night time, I used to be sitting watching TV and felt one thing on my leg. It was one other of these enormous, black spiders. I shook it off, together with my slipper. Then, I couldn’t discover it to spray to dying. Or bang with the slipper. It’s nonetheless lurking someplace in my TV room, and the entire concept makes me fairly queasy.

I hadn’t seen a cricket in a few weeks, so I figured I used to be executed with them for the summer season. However no. Simply this morning, an enormous one – I believe it’s been dwelling underneath the microwave – lumbered out whereas I used to be making espresso. What’s it about crickets and occasional? I sprayed it quite a few occasions with Windex, which occurred to be close by on the counter. I believe I at the very least wounded it. However nonetheless: It may stay, lurking someplace.

I haven’t seen an ant in per week or so, however I can’t idiot myself by considering they’ve moved outdoors. I do know they’re there someplace. In all probability underneath the microwave. The microwave is just too massive for me to maneuver alone, so it sits there, a haven for odious bugs. After I lastly get somebody to assist me transfer it, heaven solely is aware of what sort of carnage and scariness I’ll discover underneath there. A minimum of, I hope there’s carnage. Worst case state of affairs: All these cursed issues are nonetheless alive, and are available scurrying out.

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If you happen to hear a loud scream, it might be coming from my home.

Fall and funky climate are on the horizon, but nonetheless too far to get my hopes up. However boy, when fall comes, I gotta completely like it!