December 1, 2022


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Pricey Abby: Husband’s fantasies have reverse impact for spouse

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married 30 years. Our marriage has been a contented one. My husband helps me by way of every little thing. Our issues come up within the bed room. A couple of years in the past, he wished so as to add “spice” to our relationship with a threesome. I agreed to attempt it if it will make him joyful.
Now each time we make love he desires to speak about one other man being in our mattress. I’ve tried explaining that I don’t take pleasure in this on a regular basis. It has reached the purpose that I not get turned on. He can begin out superbly. I’m turned on and we begin. Then he desires me to speak to him about one other man being there, and I shut down. When I attempt to clarify it to him, he will get indignant or pissed off.
How do I hold my marriage going with out shedding my husband to a youthful lady, and add some spice to my marriage mattress with out speaking about threesomes? I really like him and I don’t wish to lose a wedding we have now fought to maintain collectively by way of thick and skinny. Please, assist me hold my marriage collectively. — LOST AND FRUSTRATED

DEAR LOST AND FRUSTRATED: If ever I heard a couple of couple who want to speak to a licensed marriage and household therapist — in addition to a intercourse therapist — it’s the 2 of you. Intercourse is meant to be pleasing for each companions, not only one. Many straight males’s fantasies contain one other lady within the marriage mattress. That your husband can’t be aroused with out having you speak about one other man raises questions concerning the nature of his sexual fantasies that I can not tackle.

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DEAR ABBY: My husband’s dad and mom deal with our two daughters very in a different way. My oldest is brilliant and talkative, and she or he’s handled with love and kindness from each of them. They carry her items for holidays and birthdays and make time to be together with her. Our youthful daughter has a number of disabilities. She is nonverbal and requires assist in all areas. My in-laws act as if she doesn’t exist. They by no means work together together with her and by no means purchase her items.
They declare to be spiritual individuals, however I discover their conduct towards our youthful little one to be fully devoid of affection or kindness — the alternative of what their faith teaches. It’s distressing to my husband and me.
We’ve got talked about the inequality earlier than, to no avail. In truth, they by no means even responded. What ought to we do? It’s tearing my coronary heart aside to see my youthful little one handled this fashion by individuals who ought to love her unconditionally. — MOM OF TWO IN OHIO

DEAR MOM OF TWO: You don’t have to take a seat by and helplessly tolerate your youthful daughter being handled the way in which she has been. I agree that what your in-laws have been doing is merciless and hurtful. It’s appalling. So that you and your husband ought to TELL them that in the event that they wish to proceed seeing their grandchildren, they are going to present extra consideration to the youthful one, or else it received’t occur.

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Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.