DEAR ABBY: I lately met the love of my life, and I’m planning to go away my life and household in Arkansas and transfer to California to marry him. He’s lately divorced after a 25-year marriage. My downside is that his ex wished the divorce, however now she needs him again. She is aware of he has met somebody, however she’s continually telling him she needs a “booty name.”
They’ve two grown kids, and their daughter is being married quickly. His ex is now threatening that if he brings me to the marriage, she is going to do one thing loopy. I do know he loves me and he talks to her solely to maintain her calm, however I really feel if he doesn’t take me to the marriage he will probably be extremely disrespecting me. He nonetheless talks to her although she has stated some nasty issues about me, which can be hurtful. Am I being too delicate? — PERPLEXED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR PERPLEXED: When this man’s ex tells him she needs a booty name, how does he reply? If he’s nonetheless sexually concerned along with her, your odds of success with him are zero. He might speak to her (regardless of her saying nasty issues about you) as a result of they’ve kids and presumably grandchildren in widespread. That he would REPEAT her lower than complimentary feedback to you doesn’t say a lot for his judgment.
Below these circumstances, I don’t suppose you must insist upon attending that marriage ceremony. As an alternative, think twice in regards to the knowledge of leaving your life and household and relocating except you will have a job ready and a assured timeline relating to marriage.
DEAR ABBY: My 50-year-old nephew has at all times used girls and was lastly caught embezzling $60,000 from considered one of them. He was arrested and ordered to pay restitution, or he would keep in jail for years. After solely two weeks of incarceration, he cried and pleaded with our household and promised he would pay anybody again the cash if they might pay his restitution.
My sister was a wreck and got here to me. I got here up with the cash and bought a promissory observe from my nephew. Lengthy story quick, he caught my sister with each fee. When my sister went bankrupt due to it, I requested if he might no less than pay $25 towards what he owed, however he did nothing. My sister lastly repaid all the things my nephew owed me, and now she expects us all to be one massive, pleased household.
She has invited me and my husband to return for the vacations, which is able to embrace my nephew. I informed her I’ll by no means once more be in the identical room with that liar and cheat, so now she’s upset with me! Am I making the proper selection? He used all of us to get out of jail, by no means paid anybody again and continues to be utilizing girls. For that I’m imagined to embrace him with open arms? I believe it might be condoning his actions. — UPSET AUNT
DEAR AUNT: I agree with you about that. Your instinctive response to maintain your sociopathic nephew at arm’s size (and even additional) is HEALTHY. It’s safer to maintain individuals with no ethics at a distance. After what occurred, as a lot as your sister would possibly want it, you might be not one massive pleased household.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.